approaching zanzibar

so as one of my colleagues has pointed out, summer is at the halfway point and almost nothing of consequence has occurred or gotten accomplished. Having made that statement, keep in mind that the family vacation is next week with the real life co-mingling with the wife's blog buddies happens the week after. What hasn't happened and probably won't for  awhile? Going Home. It's needed and a vital part of the family summer traditions.

suffering in silence and all that don't you know?

more later when I am in a better mood.

embracing the unknown

So the wife will be dropping down to limited - weekends only. This is a temporary stop on the way to quitting entirely. As we had our 18th millionth chinwag about her quitting, the real reason she hasn't up to this point surfaced - she's afraid that the one income model won't work and we will be caught short. As I told her it was a valid point but we wouldn't know if it work or not until we faced the reality of a one income household. She conceded the point and then went off to the shower. Is it going to work? Belum, just belum. But if it doesn't, we will make it through. We have under different circumstances and will again. The only difference this time is another dog and the twins.

in other news: I started the red book and the new Sigma Six book. Otherwise, all is the same.

Nine

A reasonably dead kind of week. Finished the cbdna survey and discovered that I still have a pretty respectable knowledge of the upper end of the repertoire. Knocked off Fischer and Barnhouse, Alfred/Belwin on deck next I suppose. Fleshed out the Charlotte trip a little bit more. May have fixed the pool. Read the JYD and Hacksaw bios. As I said, a reasonably dead week - the high temps didn't really help much.

Today: starting Book 2 properly. Monitoring the pool. Finding floaties, you get the picture.

Waldo field performance debut takes place tonight in mid Cali. That's kinda weird but oh well.

onward, excelsior, sumus, AEA, got me?

ten

Ten weeks left until year 24.

well technically more than ten but you get the idea.

First week of summer was the adjustment week; getting used to being around my daughters for greater periods of time. A trip to the zoo. Dinner with the westside grands. In other words, nothing unusual. Except that my wife has decided against quitting outright. Who didn't see that coming. Anywho...new RUSH this week was worth the wait. The Costello from the library was too.

started the latest edition of the geekbook. retitled from hereon as the Book. also started the Barnhouse promos, CBDNA survey, rereading the Battisti and Boonshaft books. Lesson planning/refining on tap for next week as are more promos.

vacation is roughly, very roughly, planned out. more detail work on that this upcoming week.

otherwise, la vie continue...

belum

circumstances

A hidden treasure among the RUSH ouerve...

Saturday was a really good day all the way around. Kids performed well and were rewarded for it. Wife and I survived the "We're Not Old" tour - even though my body is still paying me back for all of the untraditional stress it underwent. Did I miss my ladies? Absolutely. But, it was nice being carefree again, at least for one day.

So where do we go from here? This week brings a choral assessment, field trips out the wazoo and only two days of conventional teaching loads.  And the introduction of the six stages of removal.

Hope to finish up more of the concert preplanning today. Trying to wrap my head around chaperone assignments and rehearsal schedules today, and more program manipulation.

belum, just belum we might make it through this just yet.

are we going the right way?

long time no post. the real world and all that...to wit, the following: 23 school days left, that's right kiddies an early end to the year. good and bad and all sorts of other fun things but what can you do. when the last concert is done there will be less than ten days of school left. of course, between now and then there are 6 major events taking place before we even contemplate shutting down for the year. Hershey: saturday, hella early. with a greatly improved honors band over the last time. it's about the experience not the rating. that said, it would be nice to bring home a score and a ranking that represents all of the hard work we put in. no emma and claire show, just me and the missus. probably the most intriguing dynamic of the day if truth be told. Concerts: we are in a good place, now we just have to land the planes. still writing up pre-planning stuff for my non-traditional observation on the May 22nd concert. hopefully get more of that done today. Next School Year: kind of torn. I would like Larry to get an interview and an administrative position if only to make my life both better and worse. Hoping that Matt passes the PRAXIS professional skills core so that the chorus kids don't undergo yet another new teacher. still wrapping my head around me being THE 6th grade band teacher. Outside Main St.: the season of playgrounds, outdoors play, etc. is upon us. Woe be unto the out of shape daddoo who will definitely work on getting his weight down this summer. Wife has finally committed to taking the plunge and quitting the friendly food people. It will be a stretch financially but I think we can pull it off. I hope we can. The State of Mind: troubled but confident that we are going the right way...belum.

life, finances, the future

life is about to get hectic again. concert season is upon us with all that that entails. add in the fact that school is probably going to end early and you have the perfect recipe for all sorts of strangeness going down.

finances: told the lovely wife to number crunch and figure out a baseline number we would have to have in order for her to quit her job. she's worried about us not being able to do anything if she does - which is a valid point, but i don't like seeing her like this. no job is worth that amount of stress and strife.

the future: if she does quit, it's time for me to step up and become a year round provider, not just a ten month and some change provider. it won't be an easy transition but it is a necessary one for all concerned.

la vie continue, ancora impare

life

A musical playlist. The latest incarnation of the vaunted desert island discs format. getting teenagers to think about themselves on a deeper level at this point in their life is always a risky proposition but the results, usually, show a more profound awareness of themselves than we give them credit for.

as to myself, the decalogue is set, i think. i will look at it one more time before committing to it. as i get older, the choices get harder. there are two holdovers from the very first time i did this project almost twenty years ago. the other eight slots vary year to year but there are some second level contenders starting to emerge.

the iPod makes it interesting to see where I was a year ago at this time, versus today.

la vie continue, sumus

break, spring, sprints and life

Break: for something I was not looking forward to it actually turned out quite nice thank you very much. From an April Fools Day surprise evening with the Boss/es - the wife and Mr Springsteen, through playground dates with the daughters and the zoo and the bounce place and this morning, early afternoon at the sweetest place on earth, it was more than I expected it to be.

Spring: Mother nature can't seem to decide on whether we are truly in springtime yet or not. Next week is looking like the mid 50s and that doesn't say spring to me.

Sprints: if the rumors hold true, there will be seven Mondays left in the school year, eight weeks in all. Not too shabby until you consider the following: choral assessment, hershey trip, celebrate strings, three concert nights, the ongoing larry/scheduling saga and the increasing worries about having enough money for summer. plus instrument checkin and other stuff. a scary 56 days on tap.

Life: see the above. And add in the annual Life project for the American Music kids. I am having trouble finding my ten songs for this go around because my life is nowhere near as simple as it once was. Hopefully the decalogue will reveal itself before Wednesday.

to my brothers in the cause, Happy Founder's Day.

tests, trials and tribulations

tests: MSA madness is in it's final - in all senses of the word - throes.

trials: mainly in two areas: my aging parents and my increasingly paranoid/schizophrenic team leader. can't do much about either except listen and offer what support i can without being untrue to myself.

tribulations: a meeting with the semi-big boss friday that i didn't ask for and i can't back out of. another cross to bear i suppose.

callahan's was a good choice. a very good choice. maybe cicely next...?

veni, vedi...

we went, we played...

...i failed

the aftermath

spent most of the post performance in a daze...

woke up this morning and still could only come up with four major/minor issues with last night's performances...

it wasn't a I unless everyone else was so ineffective, it wasn't a III unless the judges were deaf and blind to what was going on around them.

so i am guessing the following: likely case: 2 2 3 1
best case scenario: 2211
worst case: 3321

it's over and it felt like a good night.

i hope

and in the end...

...in a little over twelve hours, another assessment experience will be in the books. and more importantly one that i wasn't expecting to have. the kids have worked their arses off. the director has tried to achieved a perfect satori of seriousness and levity. one glaring problem to resolve this morning and we are off to the races.

the string kids had an ok night. not what el jefe wanted but sumus you know? just sumus. personally i think he over prepared them, but what do i know i am just the band guy...

it was nice to see all of my friends that i don't get to see since the girls were born. it makes me yearn to start judging again even though i have two beautiful daughters that need their dadden around

creed: a personal statement of belief or ethos. this i believe...

i have the greatest job in the world and days like today remind me why.


AEA

the bucket list

a pretty innocuous concept to be sure. i've actually knocked quite a few things off my bucket list over the years. several biggies remain though - conducting first suite in e flat and alvamar overture, pulling off a double double < straight ones at county and state >, moving to the beach, conducting an honors band of some sort, judging at assessments. see a trend? yeah pretty much i am still a music teacher geek to my core.

to wit the following which makes no sense at all: i have never taken an orchestra group to assessment. time and circumstances may force that issue next year but the reality is I am a band guy. el jefe is a band guy masquerading as an orchestra guy and he's pretty damn good at it too. so i act as a sponge everytime i am around him, soaking up every technique he uses - good or bad - and storing them away in my memory cathedral until i get to use them.

tonight may be el jefe's last stand in the assessment zone for a while. i hope it's a good one for him, lord knows he has worked the kids to death preparing them. i not saying overkill, but...

main st. beckons. no musing today.

t-2

okay day yesterday although el jefe and i both concede that it is what it is at this point in time and it is out of our hands and entirely up to the kids.

today is the last working rehearsal and i am still trying to wrap my head around the approach to it. there are things that need addressing and i am sure i will do that - in some way, there is the schedule for the rest of the week to discuss and i am sure i will do that - in some way, there is protocol and decorum to discuss and i am sure i will do that - in some way.

what it boils down to is i know what needs to be accomplished today, i am just not sure entirely how to go about getting it done. and i am running out of time to figure that out. the playlist was vetted yesterday and some things are disappearing this morning. still feels like it's missing something though...

musing: was my best good enough this time?

t-3 days and counting

and all is calm, although i can feel the anxiety and other scheiss building.

today holds not much: usual monday schedule, putting columbine in finale, emptying and restuffing the sight-reading folders, starting ragtime with the 8th grade, bus lists would be nice, starting to assemble the assessment binder and hopefully buying my wife's first birthday present.

the girls didn't nap yesterday, first time in a while that happened. not sure why but they were holy terrors all day long and i did my best not to lose my mind or patience. we will see how the week unfolds with regards to being a good dadden and husband.

i need to buy a large sponge asap so my boards can be properly washed. sorry for the randomness - it's just how my brain is working heading into Thursday. weather is looking good. still directionless with regard to tuesday's rehearsal.

i have a rough draft of a playlist on itunes, going to vet it today and see what stays/goes/needs to be replaced. am aiming for lean and meaningful, might have to settle for meaningful and healthy.

oh, and by the way - a full night's sleep in the bed. wtf on that boyo...

musing: what happens when the journey is over?

revelations and reverberations

so i had a revelation while among the stacks at menchey's yesterday: I have evolved from a passionate band geek to a mature band geek. translation: the whole time i was there, i was not interested in going through every single title on the shelves. it was more of a target shopping mission: i knew what I was looking for, i went in found what fulfilled my needs - took a passing glance at others and then got out of dodge.

the reverberations of the above" i guess yesterday was the final step in the process that began this past summer. i am confident enough in my abilities to get things done efficiently without second and third guessing every little step. < assessment notwithstanding >

in other news, columbine in scored, now i just have to input into finale and print it out. turned out far more interesting than i originally imagined. curious to see what it sounds like live.

took the girls to the playground for a little bit yesterday. emma was her normal daredevil self and claire spent most of the time in my arms. troubling to some degree but we will see.

this week will be a barnburner in every sense of the word. i hope i live to see the end of it.

what now

yeah, best-case/worst-case scenario has arisen and now the question becomes what is the focus for the final two - COUNT THEM - two rehearsals. Well the obvious answer is to address that which needs to be addressed - but you don't want to burn them out on the music. the smart answer is be honest, forthright and let them decide. it is about the journey right?

fighting the temptation to jump fully into the numbers game with every fiber of my being...

fantastic four

not a huge comic book fan. the comics i tended to like were the ones that almost killed the industry in the mid 50s...on with the show.

so number five was a bit, underwhelming shall we say. not sure why but it was probably a combination of things. hoping today is better.

steve - whose opinion I value highly - is in this morning, as is el jefe - who probably has a better handle on the kids than steve but whose opinion i take with a large salt lick. hoping for an administrator fly-by, we'll see.

don't know why this one seems so much more important than the others, i guess it's a chance to redeem myself for last year. i've had a good run at fms and I don't want another does not meet standards hanging over my head.

still no columbine - the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. the weekend holds the return of the traditional menchey's run for a sight-reading piece and the usual destressing about the performance next wednesday night. trying to find my family again would also be a plus.

the journey, the numbers, the self-assessment, what's it all about uggy?

one to go

week that is...

today is run through day , tomorrow is the visit from the music office and el jefe. how much is too much and is it really all about the journey and not the actual rating? pretty deep questions for a foggy Thursday morning.

not exactly feeling the following music quote about the situation but...

"...for you, my best was never good enough"

striving and enjoying and trying not to miss my life

sound the trumpets...

take five

desmond or the candy bar, your choice...

today brings number five as more pieces fall into place. Still have to score out Columbine in time for Thursday. Have to chase down the missing permission slips and figure out the pack list for the supply kit for the 8th. and assign percussion responsibilities and send in the seating chart and you get the picture.

what I must also do is not burn the kids out on the music. tough to do when there are still some issues to address but we shall overcome.

still kinda clueless on the wife's birthday but some ideas are starting to coalesce. doing my best to avoid the larry drama but what can you do. I know two things I would like to do: 1. sleep through the night in my own bed 2. stay awake past 9:00 PM.

musing: how much is too much?

puzzle pieces

always enjoyed doing puzzles when I was younger. Never realized the skill set would become important later in life. to whit, the following:

- wife's birthday: i am clueless, i know the date, i know what she deserves, i know what timeframe i have left, i don't know however what I am going to get her or when I will have the time to pick it up.

- assessment: curse you you little sniveling bastard for committing me to this early date. the kids will be fine and we should meet standards. the problem is, i wouldn't mind getting the I just to show numbnuts up.

- assessment 2: entering that danger zone where you have to protect against burning the kids out on the music. not sure what to do there.

- adult conversations: since when did these re-enter our lives? stimulating discussions of course but there is a time and a place. and there's no time or place like the present, i know i know.

off to the land of misfits and disgruntled elves who don't realize how good they have it.

warmth, weekend and what's ahead

the mild winter continues apace, today's high will be almost 70 degrees. Just imagine what that does to a school full of hormone laden tweens and teens who just had their last day off until the end of March. Now imagine what it does to their teachers. Got that visual?

the weekend holds the usual, although if the weather holds, I may take the roaming gnomes to the playground. I need to finish up Columbine, and fine tune the schedule for the 8th. and find something for my wife for her birthday. and get new concert attire pronto.

what's ahead: number 5, 4 and 3 with a special visitor at number three. almost all of the major continuity issues have been ironed out. two rescoring issues to get one performer comfortable with and then we should be good to go. and there are interims to be done. and edline to be updated and my brain to explode and, ok no larry style dramatics from me. it will be fine...twitch, twitch.

musing: peaking versus cresting versus the optimal performance. discuss amongst yourselves

in praise of six...

So yeah, six beckons this morning. If it is half as successful as seven was, I will be happy. Two periods later, I get to babysit a class because it's sixth grade assembly day. I also have to send out the extra rehearsal announcement, finish up the expansion of Columbine and score it, survive honors band and uke day two with the low autism section.

then i get to come home to the best part of my day the Roberts Ladies in all of their glory, bubbery and such. I expect the first 'dinner thoughts' text at around 11:00.

going out of my way to minimize the Larry factor today.

sumus, AEA

in loco parentis

on the job, at mel's, you get the picture.

interesting chat with the wife last night at bedtime regarding the nature of her cousin's approach to child rearing and her husband's - seemingly voluntary - detachment from their child. made me think about what i bring to the table with regard to child rearing, discipline, etc. for all of my shortcomings - and there are many - i think i am doing this dad thing pretty darn well right now, thank you very kindly. trying to balance family and work is a bit of a stretch right now but i am doing well so far...

main st. beckons with it's usual hump day madness.

excelsior!

musing: tunnel vision often leads to a head-on collision, n'est ce pas?

sevens

kind of appropriate in a weird sort of way...

the final push begins today. hoping for a very productive morning followed by a bearable afternoon. the housecleansing yesterday was good for the soul. let's see if things can continue apace for the next two weeks.

musing: if you transcribe it, will they play it?

the climb, erm, the journey, erm...

pick your metaphor, place your bets...

inside three weeks and counting. the music has been roughed in finally - two rehearsals past when it should have been but oh well. sight-reading goes well. now comes the hard part: landing this puppy without driving me, the students OR most importantly - my family nuts.

a trip home should lighten the mental load a little bit. maybe a therapeutic trip to Menchey's on Monday will seal the deal. either way, I will be in a better place on tuesday come hell or high water.

valentine's went well, i think. dinner was very nice - even though I was a bit beyond tipsy. the girls liked their stuff and didn't require sandblasting after the fondue. mandy's birthday is next. trying to wrap my head around that one as it falls the day after assessment.

musing: if iTunes has soooo much music, why can't i find something to buy?

dia d'amour

Valentine's Day.

A full day of madness to be sure. Not too much on the plate other than finishing pulling together the girls' first real valentine's day and getting a teaser for my wife, hoping Thursday comes off without a hitch.

Looking for new music to download but nothing is, pun unintentional, singing to me.

time to sit back and watch the foolishness of youth.

musing: can it be done without jeopardizing my sanity and convictions?

weekend, weak end?

yes, it's that time of year: valentine's and assessment. trying to wrap my head around valentine's day for all of my ladies and am coming up with a dearth of ideas and very little time and opportunity to get the deed done.

as to assessment, i find myself with an extremely talented and responsive group that does amazing things. there are a few stumbling blocks but there are also twenty rehearsals to finish the job. if i only knew how to - psychologically/emotionally get them there without burning them out. i refuse to come up short this time.

we have started using the nook for it's intended purpose which has been a nice change of pace. a weekend of laundry and roberts girls wranglin' is on tap. beyond that not much other than watching the second nonexistent weather event in a row take place.

it is about the journey, not the destination...isn't it?

no musing this morning, just a slightly unsettled middle aged man coming to terms with his limitations

mia culpa

no, not an oblique reference to an attention seeking once was on her way to obscurity, more an admission that I didn't take care of me and as a result I went missing on Super Bowl sunday to the extent of laying in bed all day weaker than hadrian's hounds after a full day of noshing. run on sentence much? anywho...

work continues apace. the new methodical approach is working wonders on my work backlog. the library reorganization looms large in the near future and assessment is still on track to be at least a meets standards kind of year.

my fabulous wife did the single parent thing on sunday as i was a quivering lump and got more done in less than a day than i would have in two full days. the woman is nothing short of amazing.

satori has indeed been reached and others are starting to notice the change. now if i can just keep things in perspective.

to my incredible 8th grade band: thanks for dealing with grendel yesterday morning, you shouldn't have had to.

to my beautiful daughters: keep developing and growing an experiencing at the phenomenal rate you are currently. Your daddy loves you more than you know.

to my wife: what can I say? you are the rock that holds this house of hoberts together, i am truly honored and humbled to be your husband.

musing: sweet dreams turn to nightmares when reality rears it's ugly head. so do nightmares turn to sweet dreams when reality vanishes?

main st., possibly snow, la vie continue...

ragnarok

or something pretty flippin' close to it.

Jazz Night was amazing. The kids stepped it up and really impressed the audience and the high school director. The day after was amazing as the ensembles had a great day, moving closer to finishing the teaching of the assessment pieces. hershey trip is a go.

and the first haircut is looming for my daughters. that unnerves me most of all. not sure why. they aren't babies anymore but inside my mind they are still the two delicate little flowers that we brought home under three years ago. guess i just have to deal with it and accept it.

the weekend holds not much beyond being dad and cleaning up around the house.

musing: satori is a scary and powerful thing.

machine/powerhouse

i used to care. i guess i still do to some extent, but lately work has become something that i have to do, not necessarily want to do/be there for. i go in, punch the clock and for the next seven hours or thereabouts, i am a monomissioned drone who is focused on one thing and one thing only: getting out of dodge as soon as possible.

don't get me wrong, i love my career/profession. it's just that, there has to be more. doesn't there? it always seemed in the past like there was more to it than that.

who knows? not me, for now at least.

Jazz Night tonight. kids are psyched for it. their director is seizing his aspect one more time and doing what needs to be done.

sumus.

cue up the soundtrack....

methodical

never really been used an adjective to describe me. lately, however, i have been trending in that direction. maybe it's a side effect of the tightly structured existence i am currently living. maybe it's just me growing up.

anyhow, head is throbbing, psyche is floating and jazz night is tomorrow.

musing: how will my daughters remember their formative years? will they even remember me being a part of them?

glimpses

a great book with a great premise...

...coming to life as i try to fill in some gaps in my band geek collection on my ipod. it's one thing to live on the fringes of pop culture as a 'normal' person - whatever that means, it's quite another when you are trying to track down the pieces that molded you into the master band geek you once were, that is threatening to rise again and take on the world.

...the girls are better, still fighting the cough a little but they have turned the corner. my wife has her new camera so she is turning into the invisible woman - except for when she is taking pictures, which is every five seconds or so.

...the long awaited interview seems to have gone well, we will wait and see the fallout.

...july 1st is a scary deadline, time to get on my working shoes.

... still holding out for Hope, and library books that I want to read.

renascence

on a lot of fronts.

the band geek in me is surging to the fore again. the girls being sick put me back in touch with my slightly dormant paternal side. the housecleaning desire. all of this is building towards something, a renascence of some sort. not sure when rangnarok will fall but i believe the outcome will be overwhelmingly positive and may even push the issue with regards to where, how, etc my family will live.

musing for the day: if you can see the future, are you obligated to make it so?

cold

...and it's gettin' colder

if you get the reference, give yourself five extra credit points. been rocking and rolling in the fevered grip of a bug and managed to get everyone in my household except for the dogs and cat sick. my classroom has heat, I am still on the low side of a proper body temperature.

a nondescript day on tap on main st. hopefully followed by a weekend of resting up and getting physically stronger for jazz week 2012.

musing: if you beat the odds and succeed, where does that leave me?

shades of gray

as in not being positive or negative, as in not being supportive or being supportive, as in the color of my face and my physical health.

sickness has descended with full force. being the dedicated fool i am, i'm headed to main st. for a full day of madness. i will be taking tomorrow off to rest up, get some car work done, etc.

doi is completed. grades are too. next up is all the fun with adjudication. and the girls are potty trained. now it's time to strengthen and broaden their knowledge base as we start thinking about preschool and other fun things.

musing for a murky tuesday: would prevenge really work?

46 + 1

the natal day has passed. the girls' present was an actual nap. the wife has promised me presents today but as I said in an earlier post, things are nice but what I want isn't stuff you can order online or - horrors - even actually go physically into the store and get.

no students at school today, brief faculty meeting followed by 'mandatory' core training with grading to account for the rest of the day. I will find a hole somewhere to work in as I am sure my room will be an icebox once more.

philosophical musing for the day: we are directionless, but doesn't the fact that we know we are directionless mean we have an actual direction?

belum, just belum

46 save 1

playlist made? check

books for the weekend? uhm, no sadly. probably for the best.

weather? winter arrived, the outside is white

new springsteen and vassar and rush this year, maybe asia, only time will tell

daddy day today with the usual accoutrements. my thoughtful wife has proposed that the girls spend the day with her mom, not sure if i want to take her up on it.

brought some work home but i have a feeling it won't get touched.

monday is a no students day.

and now to our philosophical musing for the day: do birthdays really need to be celebrated once you are past a certain age? belum my friends, just belum

...hoping for a patriots victory tomorrow so this town can start to focus on the things that really need their attention...

holding out for Hope

on the cusp...

of the new Alaskan riviera...

uhm, no that's not it

of another celebration of the natal day. my loving wife and mother are in all sorts of knots trying to figure out what to get me. as i've gotten older, i've come to realize that it's not things that are important, it's ideas, concepts, credos, what have you. that doesn't mean that i don't want anything for my birthday, i do but the things i want are wishes that can't be fulfilled...

a mother who is mobile and can enjoy her grandkids to the fullest extent

a father in good health who can continue to be the cantankerous old coot he currently is with more variety in his life

the roberts horde to come together and be a family again so that my daughters can meet the rest of their uncles and one aunt

a teaching position where my contributions are respected and valued and where i feel like i am making a difference

my loving wife to get the kind of life she envisioned when we started down this road together

the big man, and fred fennell and george carlin and bill hicks and andy kaufman to come back and finish what they started

and last but not least - that Robert Fulghum and Phillip Gulley continue to fulfill their designated roles for as long as humanly possible.

on the way to 46, not kicking and screaming, not joyfully but not altogether settled either

pacem

in the kingdom of the blind...

the one eyed man is king. cryptic no? well, actually it's not if you put it in context. the empath is starting to rise again but with a new sense and purpose. if you fall off the horse and it waits for you to get back on, is it really worth it? or do you find another horse?

questions to ponder on a chilly January morning...

exclesior

the dawn of a new era...or just reconnecting with the way things used to be....satori rears it's ugly head again...stay tuned